HOW LONG DOES CHANGE TAKE?

How long does it take to change?

It’s one of the questions I get asked most commonly, and probably the question I used to most often ask myself as I’ve been working on different parts of my life.

Over the years I’ve developed a standard but pretty blunt answer to that question.

How long it takes to change depends on three basic questions:

- How fucked are you to begin with?

- How committed are you to making changes?

- Where do you want to get to?

I often use personal training or getting physically fit as a comparison to doing this type of work, because for most of us it’s easier to picture physical fitness than mental and emotional health impacting all parts of our lives, some of which are difficult to measure.

So, imagine you were asking me as a personal trainer how long will it take you to get in shape.

The questions above apply. If you’re two stone overweight, you’re prepared to train three times a week and make whatever changes to your diet you need to, and you just want to get to a stage where you can run 5k comfortably, we can almost definitely get you there in about one or two months.

On the other hand, if you’re 20 stone overweight, you only want to run once a week, you’re not prepared to change your diet from pizzas and kebabs, and you want to become an ultra-marathon runner, you can imagine for yourself how long I might tell you it will take.

The same applies to changing your life in other areas.

When I started doing this work around eight years ago, I had no idea how fucked I was but I knew it was pretty bad and I also knew I was prepared to do whatever it took to change.

The more work I did on myself, the more fucked I realised I was and the deeper I had to dig. I also decided that I’ll never stop doing this work. I want to keep doing it forever and see where it takes me.

A bit like deciding to just keep training and see how fit it’s possible for a human body to get.

But most people I’ve helped over the years haven’t had the same goal or started from the same dark place.

Most want to overcome certain issues in their life and are content once they get to that place, which usually only takes a few months.

What I’ve seen in everyone, though, is that the work has an almost instant impact and they see benefits within a couple of weeks.

It’s why I decided to start giving a money back guarantee for my coaching. In the past I used to say you can’t guarantee this type of work because I’ve got no idea how much effort each person will put in, but I’ve realised it doesn’t matter.

The work is so impactful that it improves everyone’s lives within weeks.

The only difference from person to person is how much work they want to put in and how far they want to go, because there’s no upper limit to where it can take you.

Another image I like is climbing a mountain.

I help people to climb to whatever vantage point suits them best, which is where they set up camp for life, only needing to do enough work to maintain the level they’ve climbed to.

Every now and then I come across someone who wants to see what it’s like at the top of the mountain, so I show them the path I’ve taken to keep going higher.

The twist in the story for the people who want to go the furthest is that the key is to stop asking how long it will take, and just accept it’s a life-long pursuit that will end wherever it ends.

If you’re thinking about making changes and are wondering how long it will take, ask yourself the questions above and see what comes out.

And if you want to explore it further with me, I give a free coaching call to anyone who wants to explore making the changes they want to make. There’s no obligation to commit to coaching after the free call - it's designed to check we'd be a good fit to work together because my work isn't for everyone and I'm selective over who I'll work with.

To go back to the personal trainer analogy, if you're 20 stone overweight, don't want to change your diet and won't commit to more than one run a week, I'm not the trainer for you.

But if you are committed to making changes and you're ready to implement the work I teach, it’s worth exploring.

To book a call, just click here.

If you'd like some free help, join my free community by clicking here.